My question, fellow depressed people, is this: what would you like a friend to do for you that would help with these symptoms? So far I've been inviting her out for lunches/dinners/drinks - I don't always get a reply but that's the depression, not her - and I sent her a personalised Christmas card with old photos of us and a lengthy quote from Great Expectations, a book that means a lot to us despite neither of us having read it because reasons I won't go into here. I hope she received it but I don't know.
I feel like as a friend I can always do more. I will not give up on trying to be consistent through this depression thing, I just need a bit of help figuring out what I can do for her that would actually be useful and not annoying or misguided or just plain unhelpful. If anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it if you would share them with me in the comments. Thanks in advance Internet people :)
First thing, obviously, is don't be put off. Stay in touch. She needs to know you're there for her to rely on, and as I'm sure you know without relatively constant reassurance she'll forget that, or more likely think it's no longer true.
ReplyDeleteRather than suggesting going out somewhere, I'd probably just ask if I could come round for a short visit. Or if she's in a really bad way, don't even ask. Just let her know you're coming and when, so she has time to prepare herself mentally. Of course she'll think you're wasting your time on her and will probably feel guilty about that, but the upside of just talking and being able, however briefly, to get out of the vicious circle in her head will make it worth while.
Couple of initial thoughts. Good luck!